“Men have no inherent value. Women and children are valued simply for existing. This is why boyhood to manhood is an especially rough transition for males. Because they’re no longer loved simply for existing. Their worthiness must be proved, or they’re nothing. And no one cares.”

– Unknown Author

I read this on social media and wanted to respond to it because I fear it may be the reality for some, and I would want to give that person a different perspective. I’ll break this up into two parts.

Part 1: Value for existing

I want to deconstruct the notion of value by existence, and try to establish a different way of looking at the inherent value of a person, if you want to put inherent value on someone, which is debatable in itself.

Inherent value is value by merely existing. We could argue that all life and all that exist have a part to play, and therefore have value. Circle of life aside, existence, in itself, is optional. Therefore, from the perspective of humanity, I believe inherent value is where the things you do naturally intersect with your existence. To describe your inherent value, for me, would require an analysis of what you do naturally and how those things aid in your existence. In my opinion, all people have inherent value. I, however, believe inherent value can be realized, surpassed, or it will depreciate. Inherent value depreciates when you lose the ability to do something that aids in your existence. It’s like having raw data, without the ability to make useful information of it. It’s not valuable in its raw state.  

Children add to the family count and are expected to bring couples together in a united effort of parenthood. This aids in the child’s own existence because the mother and father are stronger together. There is however no guarantee parents will stay together. There is no guarantee the child will be adequately cared for. There is no guarantee the child will live and there is no guarantee the child will be valued, though every child certainly has value. I believe children are not valued by merely existing because they are expected to constantly eat, learn, and grow for the sake of their existence. Of course, they have no problems doing what comes naturally to them. However, if for some reason a baby could not do something expected or had a disability, we have a way of lessening their inherent value in our own minds. As we grow older, we are expected to be more self-governing, and this self-governance comes with even more expectations, starting from a very young age. As we mature, there is a growing expectation that we will learn to do things beyond what we are naturally inclined to do, in exercise of our free will. A child that is failing to meet early childhood development benchmarks, arguably, loses value because less is expected of them. Society lessens their potential, and they must choose to surpass what is expected, sometimes very early in life. To me, doing something other than the norm is unnatural. In response to the author’s statement “worthiness must be proved”, doing things that don’t come natural to you is what I would consider to be proving your worth and going beyond your inherent value. This is also expected of children, not only men.

Like the child, a woman’s value is not from merely existing. Any inherent value related to childbearing is connected to the man. Any true obligation to value and protect the woman for merely existing, in theory, died with women’s equality. Based on this theory, any value we would like to give a woman for mere existence is in opposition of her own will for her life. The social norms and chivalry of today are completely optional behaviors, and there are plenty examples of men who do not subscribe to these ways of thinking, as well as examples of women who decline the gesture. Women have very high expectations on their lives, but in the end, it is their choice to create value for themselves beyond the realm of expectations. If standing on a mountain, are your feet not on the ground, regardless of your elevation? If the floor of your assumed inherent value is lower than someone else’s, it doesn’t mean you have no value, and if a person never rises beyond the floor of their inherent value, what has their existence added to the world? Men should not look at a woman’s inherent value and say we have none in comparison.

A man has inherent value when viewed through the lives of his predecessors. It is this viewpoint, that governs the assumed potential of a boy, as he matures into a man. His value shapes what his parents expect of him and what the world around him expects of him. If he comes from a family plagued with crime and dysfunction, he is expected not to fall too far from the tree from which he has grown. If a father is considered a great man, the value of the father is often placed on his sons. I’ve heard a Christian or two refer to themselves as “a child of God” or “kingdom kids”. In this sense, the Christian would be finding inherent value in their being, based on the God they believe created them. Being careful not to limit the arena of the predecessor, other men that look like us or come from where we come from also give us some inherent value, however stereotypical that might be. This may explain why the media has such a vested interest in shaping the reputation of groups of people. While preserving a stereotype through media coverage can be categorized as culture acknowledgment, culture preservation, historical reference, or statistical analysis, it sometimes has a way of reminding people of “their place” and can potentially harm the growth and evolution of a group of people. If you don’t understand or don’t agree, I won’t explain much further, but I will ask you to consider the aforementioned as you ask yourself why it’s usually a big deal when there is a “First Black [INSERT ANYTHING HERE]”. It is a big deal when someone of color does something no one who looks like them has done in American history. It’s a milestone for the culture and an example of how to make it out of the places they come from to get to a place no one like them has ever been. If you follow their footsteps you may get close, you may reach the level of your predecessor, yet you may surpass them. The fact that nobody like you has ever done something can either be a motivating factor or a discouraging one, but both perspectives are valid.

I realize what I am writing is contrary to the notion that men have no inherent value. However, it is not my intent to persuade you to think having no value cannot be the mentality for some people. On the contrary, I believe this is the reality of some men because they have reason to believe it, but it is not their truth. Exposing them to a different narrative, gives them a choice to continue to believe a lie, or to live by a different truth. It is a more positive perspective on reality. If they choose to consider the people who came before them, consider their childhood, the principles taught to them from a young age, acknowledge the obstacles they overcame because someone told them about the obstacle, and highlight the obstacles they overcame through perseverance. If they consider all this, they will surely stumble upon the measure of the man they are. You realize your inherent value as a man in your doing, no different than children or women. Making use of scientific principles, a child’s value is both potential energy, and kinetic. A woman’s value is both potential energy and kinetic.  It is the same for a man. What would we say of the value of a woman who can physically have no children or chooses not to? Surely, she still has value. Value is only realized when potential energy becomes kinetic. Potential energy becomes kinetic when you decide that you will do something valuable. What you will do is up to you. The less you do, the more you depreciate your own value. The disappointment tied to your inaction is like heat energy burning off a man who isn’t living up to his potential, and not realizing his inherent value. Because energy is never lost or destroyed.